There's no crying in...super hero bowling
Today we had a very cheerful ride home after a looong day at work. My sainted husband not only stopped off at the store but also ordered the Chinese takeout so it was waiting on the kids and I when we arrived home late. I have to say, I was a little worried about squeezing playtime in today, with only about 2 hours between our arrival and bedtime (we strive for 7:00 bedtime in our house because we get up before 6). Eileigh did set the tone, she was asking for her Wonder Woman outfit and ran upstairs to change even before she said hello to her dad! The kids just love chicken lo mein (well, tonight all Callum wanted was white rice - weird).
We had what their grandparents call a "mad half hour" of fun. Broke out the bowling set, and then the Scot played a chase the soccer ball game that ended in tears because Eileigh didn't want to lose. We gave her a few "pumpernickel" chances, but she was really upset! I finally had to bring her into another room and tell her that she could come out when she was ready to be a big girl. After our little talk another benefit of the exercise came to light - I am actually getting to teach my kids first hand how to be a good friend. I am easing their social conditioning. We have had conversations with Eileigh in the past as she's come home from school saying that friends don't want to play with her and we managed to unravel that it's because she is being bossy and doesn't want to let friends choose the game. She has also beeen known to be a sore loser. Being intimately familiar with bossy tendancies, we wanted to teach her about how that wasn't being a good friend, etc etc. I'm sure as I'm thinking, "'gee mom, that was an epic car lecture worthy of immediate implementation!", they are hearing "wah, wah, wah (Charlie Brown teacher voice)." At 5 and 2, they're just way too young to talk about abstract situations... However, today when we came across the incident first hand, I was able to show an immediate example, and I did see a glimmer of understanding. I just gave it to her straight. She's a big girl, and if she cries when she doesn't win or get her way, no one will want to play with her. I said, "It's the same when we play at home, and it will be the same at school. No one wants to play with a crybaby." That sounds more harsh in writing than I'd like, but it's a harsh reality on the playground. And being indulged at home and getting her way is not helping her learn how to be a good friend. The ugly truth, I hope, will give her a happier childhood experience with her peers. I never expected this - I was thinking that the play365 would be all about bettering our relationship as parents and children and as a family unit. It's turning out to have even more results...here's hoping it continues!
We had what their grandparents call a "mad half hour" of fun. Broke out the bowling set, and then the Scot played a chase the soccer ball game that ended in tears because Eileigh didn't want to lose. We gave her a few "pumpernickel" chances, but she was really upset! I finally had to bring her into another room and tell her that she could come out when she was ready to be a big girl. After our little talk another benefit of the exercise came to light - I am actually getting to teach my kids first hand how to be a good friend. I am easing their social conditioning. We have had conversations with Eileigh in the past as she's come home from school saying that friends don't want to play with her and we managed to unravel that it's because she is being bossy and doesn't want to let friends choose the game. She has also beeen known to be a sore loser. Being intimately familiar with bossy tendancies, we wanted to teach her about how that wasn't being a good friend, etc etc. I'm sure as I'm thinking, "'gee mom, that was an epic car lecture worthy of immediate implementation!", they are hearing "wah, wah, wah (Charlie Brown teacher voice)." At 5 and 2, they're just way too young to talk about abstract situations... However, today when we came across the incident first hand, I was able to show an immediate example, and I did see a glimmer of understanding. I just gave it to her straight. She's a big girl, and if she cries when she doesn't win or get her way, no one will want to play with her. I said, "It's the same when we play at home, and it will be the same at school. No one wants to play with a crybaby." That sounds more harsh in writing than I'd like, but it's a harsh reality on the playground. And being indulged at home and getting her way is not helping her learn how to be a good friend. The ugly truth, I hope, will give her a happier childhood experience with her peers. I never expected this - I was thinking that the play365 would be all about bettering our relationship as parents and children and as a family unit. It's turning out to have even more results...here's hoping it continues!
